In our recent update of the Money Awareness Program’s book we added nine new money strategies — one of which was “Get Your Spouse to Stop Overspending.” This topic often comes up in our workshops.

Market research shows that people who overspend usually do it to feel good or feel in control, not because they need the items they buy.

So chiding your spouse, or even just stressing the virtues of scrimping and saving, is going to backfire. The more you talk about that stuff, the more your spouse will feel out of control — the same emotion that drove the indulgence in the first place.

A more effective strategy is to encourage your spouse to own the problem. Keep track of what your household spends, weekly or monthly, and ask him or her to review those accounts. Don’t say anything else. That way the choice to cut back is under your spouse’s control, making it more likely to happen.